My Indian arranged marriage: Part I - Why arranged marriage!

Arranged marriage - fifty years back, in India, parents used to find life partners for their children and get them married. It made sense. The children, in most cases, were in their teens - probably even early teens. Even if they were not young in age, they were usually dependant on their parents even at the time they got married as opportunities for pursuing an occupation different from the parents were limited.

As time passed laws around the age of marriage were more strictly implemented. And with time the norm became that both the bride and the groom should have completed their graduation before marriage (atleast in the middle and the upper class) and should be settled either with a job or in the family business. Due to this the average age of marriage increased. Now the 'ready to be married children' are usually professionally settled grown up adults. Therefore, barring few backward areas of the country, today the custom of child marriage in India is almost over. However, the custom of arranged marriage is not.

The girls and the boys, both get exposed to the world when they move out of their homes to study in school or college and after that, when they go out to work, in their workplaces. Some of them start looking for mates. Part of it has to do with the hormonal pressures for gratification of carnal desires (read sex) and part of it has to do with the childhood fantasy of finding their prince charmings and dream girls. Part of it could be peer pressure, after all its probably the in thing today to have a 'close' friend from the opposite gender. Or it could be the pure desire for someone who cares about you. All these together have ensured that the share of love marriages in total marriages has significantly increased over time.

However, in some cases as the 'child' is working hard to be educated and to be 'settled' in a respectable job, he/she does not get time to find a mate. Or just doesn't have the skills. Or probably a conservative or semi-conservative upbringing ensured that the child is shy in broaching the topic with the opposite gender even if, otherwise, he/she can talk any kind of rubbish with them. Or it could be due to a personality disorder: inferiority complex preventing the person from proposing love/marriage to the person he/she likes. Or it could be some other reason. But at the end of it all, the fact remains, that arranged marriages are still very much a reality in the country. So much so that entire businesses, even online, have sprung up to aid in the process.

I'm also a person who, probably due to one of the above reasons or a mix of many of them, remains a bachelor. Not that I have any problems with it. I am romantic enough to wait my entire life for my dream girl. But I also know I would not be allowed to. There is already pressure on me from family and friends to 'settle down'. And yes, I am perfectly normal, the hormones in my body also need some fun. So here I am, setting foot on the journey to an arranged marriage - hoping that the story after it happens would belong to the happily ever after kind.

Aam Aadmi Party will win the 2014 Lok Sabha elections. Here's why...

"Kabhi kabhi kuch jeetne ke liye kuch haarna padta hai, aur haar ke jeetne wale ko Baazigar kehte hain." This is probably one of the most famous dialogues ever from Bollywood. A dialogue that lay the foundation for an average Indian with average looks to one day become the King of the Indian film industry. The same dialogue also encapsulates, in one sentence, the story of the people behind the Aam Aadmi Party. People who left their jobs and sacrificed their personal lives, and even lost their friends from the Jan Lokpal movement, to cause possibly the biggest upset in the history of Indian politics. And, that too, in the National Capital, the heart of the country. Let us look at why these Baazigars will be the winners of the Lok Sabha elections in 2014.

This article lists the turn of events from the point of view of a Aam Aadmi and the opinions of a Aam Aadmi. In case you observe any factual inaccuracies please point out so that they can be promptly rectified.

The Aam Aadmi Party was formed when about eighteen months back some of the arrogant political leaders threw  a challenge to the members of the Jan Lokpal movement. They were challenged to fight elections to prove that they represented the common man. Some of the leaders of the movement led by Arvind Kejriwal accepted the challenge and formed a party, aptly named Aam Aadmi Party. The symbol of the party was a jhaadoo (a broom) symbolising that the party was formed to clean the Indian politics.

Throughout, the leaders of both Congress and BJP continued to ridicule AAP as a bunch of good for nothing jokers. Guess they hadn't seen The Dark Knight. For this bunch of jokers, ones with a good intent, had made a mark on the history of the country. By the time 2013 ended, the national convener of a party that was formed barely 12 months back had become the Chief Minister of the National Capital.

Those who lost the elections included some stalwarts from both the parties. People who had been the winners for past 15 years continuously, and more. And the best part was that most of them lost to first timers. The Aam Aadmi has, atleast once, defeated the evil politicians.

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What happened in Delhi gave hope to people across the country. Those who are frustrated with the rampant corruption, that is eating the country like termites eat wood, are rejoicing.  This has in turn caused the national politics, which was till date focussed on individual personalities, to be focussed on issues. Narendra Modi is talking about development and pro-people measures like tax reforms. BJP all of a sudden discovered its good CM's like Manohar Parrikar.

BTW Modi is yet to respond to the challenge that Kumar Vishwas posed to him - to fight against either Rahul Gandhi or Sonia Gandhi in the 2014 elections. Going by his track record Manohar Parrikar can be seen as the Manmohan Singh of BJP (defending corrupt ministers). And the idea of tax reforms was hijacked by Ramdev from an organisation named Artha Kranti.

On the other hand the Delhi government has been under the lens of the media 24x7 since the day it was formed. As the representatives of the party themselves say, what could be a bigger evidence of change in the expectations of the people from politicians then the fact that they want the politicians to work and work fast. Every move of the government is being critically evaluated. That too on national television. All this while CMs of the other three states where elections happened at the exact same time are probably sleeping away in peace. There's absolutely no mention of them.

In the lasting impact that it has had on the national politics AAP has already achieved a significant part of its raison d'etre. There is still a long way to go. But, as long as AAP continues to be true to its roots and philosophy of being the Aam Aadmi's voice it can expect to continue to be the Aam Aadmi's choice.

That said, we come to the 2014 elections. If I am to put my expectations about 2014 Lok Sabha elections in writing, I would want AAP to win over 100 seats, Congress below 100 and BJP above 180. BJP should form the government with LK Advani as the prime minister, with issue based support from AAP. AAP should give outside support and play the role of a constructive opposition. A role that an aam aadmi cannot expect any of the other parties today to play. The experience, foresight and leadership abilities of Advani combined with the support of a party that truly cares about people, and under its critical watch, would be the best this country can get.

Going by the current scenario, this is a real possibility. This would ensure that by the time elections happen in 2019, Congress would have gone through the process of aatma-manthan (self cleansing) and BJP would have realised that it is where it is only because of the common man's support - whether it is Hindu, Sikh or Muslim. And, hopefully, in 2019 we will have an election where parties talk about real issues instead of hatred that has marked this election.

And, if this happens, AAP would be the true winner of this year's elections. Aam Aadmi would have won!

Look into my eyes - now available for readers

Look Into My Eyes by M S Ahluwalia